Parkrun 157 - pre-flight safety briefing

Welcome aboard parkrun flight 157. I am your captain Stoyan and our lovely cabin crew is Sharon, Jonathan, Kiora, Jordan, Joy, Karen [cabin crew please line up and wave when your name is called]. You too can join our crew, simply sign up when you scan your barcode at the end.

Today we are travelling to there and back at altitude of 360m and your flight time depends on how much you are willing to suffer.

We’d like to extend a special welcome to our frequent flyers, first timers and visitors. Who are the frequent flyers [raise hand]? Are there any first timers? What about visitors? What airline are you from? We also have some junior frequent flyers who have done 10 parkrun flights and deserve to collect some points.

Today you’ll be flying at Mt Barker parkrun. Subtly every parkrun is different, so please pay attention to the cabin crew nearest to you for the duration of our safety briefing.

The start of the flight is over there. Please line up according to the markings on the ground. [cabin crew point to start line] We run up to and turn around the half way flag which is up the gravel path near Bald Hills Rd. [cabin crew do a turn] Our arrival is on the grass, left of the finish flag. [cabin crew point to finish flag] You’ll be given a finishing token which needs to be scanned along with your personal parkrun barcode so that you can get a time. [cabin crew raise hands with a token and tap on it] Later in the day you’ll get an email with your time and you can check our FB page to see the photos from the flight. [cabin crew pretend you are tapping on a phone]

In case of an emergency we’d use our debirillator on you, but we don’t have one yet [cabin crew make a sad face]. So please follow the links from our FB page and support our defibrillator fundraiser campaign. We’ve raised $1,574 and we need $2,000 [cabin crew give thumbs up].

We’d like to remind you that this is a non-smoking flight and that smoking on the course or in the toilets will greatly reduce your parkrun times and your life [cabin crew shake finger left to right and do a mum no-no face].

Please unfasten your seat belts and get ready to fly.

Cabin crew prepare for take off.