Good morning and welcome to parkrun #242. We don’t have any parkrun milestones to celebrate today, so let’s give ourselves a big cheer for just turning up. An interesting thing happened to me yesterday: I received an email from the future. I got sent the Mount Barker parkrun speech for parkrun number 1282 in the year 2038. I thought that you might be interested to hear how things have or have not changed.

[snorkel fins mask] Welcome to parkswim #234! Some of you look surprised, so I guess you didn’t get the memo. Let me explain. We are expecting floods of biblical proportions this morning, so instead of cancelling the event, we just reclassified it. Let’s see how we go. So, any first-time parkswimmers amongst us? Yes, all of us. Welcome! What about visitors from other parkswims? Where from? Thanks for joining us!

Good morning and welcome! I want to confirm our venue, in case you’ve just stepped through an intergalactic wormhole, this is planet Earth, Mount Barker and the event is Mount Barker parkrun 226! We have a few minutes until our official start so let’s pass the time with a little quiz, as we occasionally do. Our contestants this morning are (in alphabetical order): Arabella, Pablo, Paul and Paula. Please step to the front and don’t be shy!

Do you ever wake up to the sounds of tiny voices? Do you ever wake up to the sounds of tiny voices, growing louder and louder? Do you ever wake up to the sounds of tiny voices, growing louder and louder into an argument? Do you ever wake up to the sounds of tiny voices, growing louder and louder into an argument and it’s not your kids? Well, I do, especially on Saturdays.

Good morning again and welcome to Mount Barker parkrun 205! You know how there are claims that we are the best parkrun in Australia? And then all the Strathalbyn folk start to grumble? Well, I’d like to read you a few Facebook reviews that settle this score once and for all. Clarence Stroll writes [read from the phone]: “I’ve been to 39 different parkruns and Mount Barker is by far my favourite.

Good morning everyone and welcome to Mount Barker parkrun 198! It’s a bit chilly this morning, but it warms my heart to see you all come out here. Speaking of which, are there any first timers amongst us today? Welcome and congratulations you are about to have a transformative experience. What about any visitors? Where did you travel from? There is lots of excitement around this morning. For starters we’ll be trialing the parkrun virtual volunteer iPhone app for timing and scanning.

Welcome to parkrun 186 and another exciting Saturday morning! And an even more exciting weeekend for some. Who is doing the City to Bay tomorrow? If anyone would like to share a lift, there are a few messages about this on our Facebook page. In a week’s time we’ll have the beautiful Yurrebilla trail run and the River Run. Anyone participating in these? Then there are 2 True Grit events for the hardcore.

Good morning and welcome to our 182nd parkrun. There is lots of excitement all around, apart from the crazy weather. This week we have the official Aldinga Beach parkrun launch followed by the Adelaide marathon tomorrow. Next week we have the offical Port Lincoln parkrun launch followed by the Kangaroo Island marathon. Anyone doing any of these events? So, do we have any first timers? What about visitors? Well,keep up with the river until you see the flag near Bald Hills Rd, then turn around and come back.

For parkrun 175 Hugo built an R2D2 look-a-like Lego Mindstorms robot and I programmed it to help deliver the speech. Here is how it went: Me: [madly pulling out the battery to do a hard reset after the program didn’t want to exit from the morning’s test run] Hard rest R2D2 Me: Welcome I found this droid on the way to parkrun and it says it has an urgent message for us.

Good morning and welcome! Welcome to parkrun 167! There was a TV show called Cheers when I was growing up. I was little and didn’t get it, but the title song stuck with me. The two lines I remember the most from it are: Where everybody knows your name And they’re always glad you came These two lines popped into my head recently and I thought this is just like parkrun: I know everyone’s name because I process the results and everyone is glad I came because I bring the stopwatch.

Good morning and welcome to parkrun (what number are we up to?)! I am feeling a bit lazy this morning, so I thought I’d be a director instead of a runner. So lazy in fact, that I thought I’d oursource as many responsibilities as possible. Please raise your hand if you are a regular parkrunner? Please raise your hand if you are a first timer or a visitor? Welcome! Regular parkrunners, can you please adopt a first timer or a visitor after the speech.

Welcome aboard parkrun flight 157. I am your captain Stoyan and our lovely cabin crew is Sharon, Jonathan, Kiora, Jordan, Joy, Karen [cabin crew please line up and wave when your name is called]. You too can join our crew, simply sign up when you scan your barcode at the end. Today we are travelling to there and back at altitude of 360m and your flight time depends on how much you are willing to suffer.

Good morning and welcome to parkrun 151, which also happens to be the total number of Pokémon in the original set. It seems to be a bit cold this morning so let’s warm up with a bit of clapping. Rub hands, ok, ready? Let’s hear it for our volunteers Aimee on stopwatch, Jasmin & Andrew on finish tokens, Julie & Rebekah behind the scanner, Jonathan bringing up the rear and Lucy behind the camera.

145 CXLV 12^2 + 1^2 = 8^2 + 9^2 = 1!+4!+5! factorion Welcome to parkrun 1 4 5, which also happens to be the title of a Cat Empire song. Let’s see if we have any first timers. What about visitors from another parkrun? We run this way past our beautiful wetlands. Don’t get distracted by the abundant birdlife or you might miss the turn around sign near Bald Hills Rd.

19 + 23 + 29 + 31 + 37 = 139 all prime numbers 34th prime CXXXIX 100010112 Good morning and welcome to parkrun 139 or as my 3-year old daughter calls it “the party”. I would like to acknowledge that today we’ll be running on the land of the Peramagk people. I would also like to acknowledge all of our volunteers. We have a very experienced crew today. We are in the very safe hands of David on stopwatch, Jordan on finish tokens, the Bracken family Cameron, Andrew and Declan on token scanning and sorting, the cousins Gary and Paul are our photographer and marshal (and welcome back to you both).

5im0n 135 = (1+3+5)x(1*3*5) = 1^1+3^2+5^3 = 11*n^2 + 11*n + 3 for n=3 Good morning and welcome to Mount Barker parkrun 135. A lucky number with rare mathematical properties and you can read more about it on the pavement over there. I’d like to start with an apology today. Last time I was in charge I said “Run this way until you see a flag near Bald Hills Rd, turn around it and come back” and then it turned out that there was no half-way flag; some people never turned around and for all I know may still be running.

Good morning and welcome to Mount Barker parkrun CXXX, which is the Roman numeral for 130. Are there any first timers? Welcome. What about visitors? Where are you from? Run this way until you see a flag near Bald Hills Rd, turn around it and come back. Quick quiz: what do you get when you mix the Indian spring festival of Color Holi with a 5km race and charity fundraiser. The answer is the Color run.

Laaaa [warming up the vocal chords] Top of the parkrun morning to you friends! Ah it’s so good to be here again. I get so excited about parkrun that I wrote a song about it. Grette is going to help me with it. The song is about a runner who gets lost in a crowd and it goes something like this… Before I start are there any first timers today? And what about visitors from another parkrun?

Welcome to parkrun 121! Today is election day. Today you choose between progress and stagnation. Today you choose between weak and strong. Today you choose between health and sickness. Today you vote with your feet. I’d like to congratulate you all for choosing progress, strength and health by being here with us this morning. Are there any first time voters? How about visiting voters? Today we celebrate 100 parkruns for one of our regular voters.

True story: I went to a work dinner last night. Got employee of the year award. That wasn’t hard. I was the only one who hang around for the whole year. It was so loud there though that I lost my voice talking to people. Then I came back so late I had no time to prepare my speech for this morning. So I thought I just confess up front that I’ll be mostly improvising today.

Hi, welcome I have a little story for you this morning. Once upon a time there was a little boy. His favourite day of the week was Saturday because he got to get up early and go to parkrun with his neighbour. The boy loved parkrun. He loved looking at the crowd of friendly faces and listening to the run director’s welcome speech. That day 13 June Queen’s Birthday fun run where you run 5km without a watch and whoever gets the closest to their estimated time wins.

Welcome to the inaugural 2016 parkrun fashion parade. We have a lot of exceptional models lined up for you so let’s get started. First up we have Kent who wears his signature smile and a PB of 18:45. He is only the second home grown parkrunner after Errol to hit the 100 mark. Kent has been a parkrun tourist at more venues than I have had hot meals. He is a regular pacer and one of our fastest and most accomplished runners, but this is not his biggest achievement.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to run our Saturday parkrun. Not to be entered into lightly, parkrun should be entered into solemnly and with reverence and honour, a proper warmup and half-decent footwear. Into this holy agreement we come together to get healthier and stronger so we may serve others. If there are any first timers please raise your hand or miss out for you only get one chance to be a first timer.